


what we are

by kusuos



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Amusement Parks, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, One Shot, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27769627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kusuos/pseuds/kusuos
Summary: hi this is my first fic in the hq fandom i hope u enjoy, comments and kudos appreciated! if u want to follow me my twt is @SK8TERKEIJI(for jane and adri)
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 1
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is my first fic in the hq fandom i hope u enjoy, comments and kudos appreciated! if u want to follow me my twt is @SK8TERKEIJI 
> 
> (for jane and adri)

Iwaizumi keeps the tickets from that day in his phone case. 

By now, the ink is faded and the paper is starting to turn yellow, but he keeps them there, as a happy reminder. 

Oikawa watches him stare at them sometimes, usually he watches until Iwaizumi’s eyes become clouded with memories and interrupts by asking some variation of, “Remembering how good I looked in the sunlight that day?” 

“Shut up Shittykawa, no one wants to spend more time thinking about your stupid face than they have to.”

Oikawa scoffs at that. 

“So you think about me sometimes?” he says, and Iwaizumi can hear the smile in his voice. 

  
He slips his phone back into the pocket of his joggers and lobs a volleyball in his direction aimlessly. It hits him square in the chest. 

“Mean, Iwa-chan.”

He pouts, but his eyes sparkle as he drops the volleyball back into the basket. 

As they walk home from practice, Iwaizumi thinks about that day again while Oikawa goes on about the last alien thriller he’d made them watch. 

The Seijoh volleyball club had gone on a trip to an amusement park, and Oikawa had dragged him all throughout the park, and had insisted that they go by themselves, ditching the rest of the team to fall in line for some stupid space themed roller coaster. 

Iwaizumi hated roller coasters, but he couldn't say no when Oikawa had begged and begged, and when Iwaizumi still refused had dragged him across the park by the hand. 

They stood in line together for almost an hour, and as they neared the entrance, he realized that Oikawa’s hand was still in his. He stared at their intertwined fingers, his slightly darker skin against Oikawa’s own pale skin. 

They’d always held hands growing up, Oikawa dragging him wherever he wanted and forgetting to let go; Oikawa’s hand in his was constant no matter what else changed. 

When they were finally close enough to the entrance of the ride, Oikawa spoke. 

“You know, if you really don’t want to go, we can leave.”

He’d probably noticed how pale Iwaizumi had gotten standing in line and hearing the screams of the people on the ride before them. 

Iwaizumi shakes his head. 

“Are you sure?” Oikawa asks, looking concerned. 

He hates making Oikawa worry, and he knows that Oikawa will enjoy it, even more if he’s with him, so he nods and nudges Oikawa forward to where the line had moved up. 

He screams like a little girl when they finally get on but Oikawa is smiling larger than he has in a long time so it’s definitely worth it. 

Oikawa drapes his arm around his shoulders to steady him as they stumble down the stairs to exit.

“That was fun, wasn’t it Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi grumbles. 

“I can’t believe you made me go on that stupid ride, Trashykawa.”

“Make you?” Oikawa scoffs. “You’re the one that agreed to go with me?”

“Because you wouldn’t shut up about it,” he retorts.

“Am I just that irresistible?”

Iwaizumi slaps him on the back and says, “I can’t stand you.”

There’s a light in his eyes that lets Oikawa know he doesn’t mean it, a brightness that’s almost always there when they’re together. 

Oikawa spots an ice cream stand and drags him over to it, he orders strawberry for himself and chocolate for Iwaizumi. When the cones are ready he hands Iwaizumi his. 

He knows Iwaizumi well, he always has. 

The pair walk over to a bench area near the edge of the park to eat. 

The sun is starting to set and the sky washes them in shades of yellow and orange.

They have to get back soon but he’s content to watch Oikawa for a while, even if it means that they’ll have to run to make it back to the bus on time. He looks ethereal in the setting sunlight.

  
His skin glows in the light and Iwaizumi wants to kiss him senseless. 

Iwaizumi had known something had changed that day, that deep down, he started to realize he didn’t love Oikawa like best friends were supposed to love each other, that his feelings ran deeper than he thought. 

I’m in love with my best friend, and I think I’m okay with that, he thinks to himself. 

Loving Oikawa is natural, almost as natural as breathing. 

Oikawa giggles and takes his hand, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

“Stop thinking for a while,” he says. “Just stay with me.”

The two stay like that for a while, Oikawa leaning on his shoulder and his hand in his, until his phone buzzes and he pulls it out to realize they should've been back at the bus ten minutes ago, and Kindaichi is calling him. 

“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath. He stands up and motions for Oikawa to follow him.

  
They run and make it to the bus slightly out of breath.

Matsukawa hangs out of the bus door and shouts “Get in losers, you’re making us late,” when he sees them approach.

They scramble onto the bus, squeezing into the last seat. It’s cramped but Iwaizumi doesn’t mind, especially since it means Oikawa is basically sitting in his lap. 

They fall asleep leaning on each other, and it’s one of the best days Iwaizumi’s ever had.

* * *

  
  


“Do you know what you’re going to do after high school?” Oikawa asks. 

Iwaizumi stops and stares at him. 

It’s the first time they’ve talked about it, never wanting to bring up the touchy subject. 

They’re in their third year, it has to come up soon, but they avoid it as much as they can. 

They both know that one of them’s going to leave and that they can’t stay together forever but some part of him wants to hope. 

“I don’t know yet,” Iwaizumi lies. 

Oikawa scoffs. 

“That’s not true. You’re going to leave me here alone and I’ll have no one to toss to and no one to walk home with.” 

“No way,” he says. “I love you too much for that.”

The words slip out of his mouth casually and he doesn’t realise what he’s said until he hears Oikawa stammering, and he knows he’s fucked up. He doesn;t even know if it’s a lie or not, all he knows is that he wants to stay, he wants it so bad. 

“Wait I didn’t mean it like that,” is the first thing to come out of Iwaizumi’s mouth, breaking the odd silence. It was a different kind of silence, one filled with insecurity, so different from the comfortable one they were used to, the one built over a million afternoons sitting at the creek trying to catch frogs and hundreds of silent practice sessions where Oikawa would send him perfect tosses. 

Oikawa looks hurt at that and Iwaizumi’s surprised because he never thought Oikawa would return his feelings. It doesn’t matter. 

It’s not like he does anyway. 

Iwaizumi trips over a crack in the sidewalk, he’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice it’s there until he’s starting to fall. 

Suddenly, there’s a pair of strong setter hands around his waist and the world is right way up again. 

Oikawa lets go immediately, and Iwaizumi mutters a small “Thanks,” and shys away. 

He doesn’t want to talk about it. No, he doesn’t want to be rejected, doesn’t want to ruin their life-long friendship, and even if Oikawa did love him back, it’s probably not the way Iwaizumi loves him, how he’d do anything to make sure Oikawa was happy. 

He comes to a stop, realizing he’s in front of his house, the first one on the street, Oikawa’s house a few houses down.

“Go home,” Oikawa says. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Oikawa-” he starts, but he gets cut off by Oikawa shoving his hand in his face. 

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

With that, he turns and jogs in the direction of his house leaving Iwaizumi standing on the sidewalk alone. 

* * *

They don’t talk about it the next day. 

In fact, he doesn’t see Oikawa at school at all. 

He’s not there for morning practice and he doesn’t meet Iwaizumi in the courtyard for lunch and he’s not in the three classes they share in the afternoon either. 

Iwaizumi walks home alone after afternoon practice for the first time in years. He feels empty and numb, like his body knows how much pain he’s in and it doesn’t want him to feel it. 

The next day is the same. 

After school, he walks to Oikawa’s house, but his mother turns him away and tells him he isn’t home.

He texts him again as he walks home, but he’s just left on read. 

He feels like he’s just going through the motions, like a ghost. He drops his schoolbag in the kitchen with a thud and retreats to his room. 

Iwaizumi stares absentmindedly out his window, one of Oikawa’s old jackets that he’d borrowed and never returned wrapped around him. The jacket still smells like him and the scent is comforting, even though Oikawa probably thinks he’s a freak and never wants to see him again. 

It starts to rain, slowly at first and then turning into a steady downpour and he watches the raindrops race down the glass of the window pane. 

The weather matches the way he feels, dreary. He hadn’t seen Oikawa in two days; it’s the longest they’ve ever been apart in a while. 

At practice a worried Makki had asked him where Oikawa was, thinking he was sick or something.    
  
It made something in him crack, realizing that everyone expected him to know where he was and had no idea that he’d hurt him, that they’d expected better, they expected that he was taking care of him, not that he’d messed everything up. 

Movement catches his eyes through the raindrops.

It’s Oikawa, out for a run, even though it’s pouring outside. 

It makes him smile fondly, despite the pain he’s in; no matter how often he forgets to stretch, Oikawa’s always been particular about never missing a run.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing, all he can think is  _ I have to fix this,  _ so he runs downstairs and out the front door. 

The rain washes over him and he pulls the hood of Oikawa’s jacket over his head to try and stop it. He’s almost completely soaked by the time he catches up to him. 

“Oikawa!” he shouts. 

He knows he’s heard him but he doesn’t turn around.

“Tooru!”

That gets him. He jerks to a stop and turns around.

“Iwa-chan?” he asks, confused. 

Iwaizumi closes the distance between them.

“I’m so sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t mean to fuck everything up. 

“Iwa-chan-” Oikawa starts, but Iwaizumi keeps going.

“I understand that you don’t feel the same about me, but please, just let me be your friend.” 

He trails off and goes silent staring at the sidewalk. 

“Hajime-” says Oikawa, and Iwaizumi looks up to meet his eyes. 

They haven’t called each other by their first names in forever, not since they were kids.

“I feel the same. I love you too, dumbass, I always have.” 

Oikawa opens his mouth to say more but Iwaizumi crashes their lips together, cutting him off. 

It’s a messy kiss, he hits the corner of Oikawa’s mouth first and they’re both soaking wet from the rain, but he changes the angle and suddenly it’s perfect.

Their lips fit together like they were made for each other, and they kiss softly in the rain for a while. 

Oikawa pulls away first, breaking the kiss and Iwaizumi runs his hands through his wet hair. 

“Was that okay?” I’m sorry I didn’t ask first I should’ve…” He trails off. 

“It was perfect,” Oikawa says, and something in him catches fire. It’s freezing outside but he’s never felt warmer. 

“I never thought you liked me back, I thought it was only me,” he continues. 

“I’ve always loved you,” Iwaizumi says. “It’s always been you.”

Oikawa grins, and there are tears in his eyes. He pulls him into a hug, and he’s never felt safer. 

“Why are you crying?” Iwaizumi asks, noticing that Oikawa’s shaking and there are tears in his eyes. 

Oikawa retorts with “Why are  _ you _ crying?” and Iwaizumi didn’t even notice he was; he thought it was the rain. 

“I love you,” he says like a promise.

“I love you too,” Oikawa says back.

They stay there in silence, arms wrapped around each other.

“We should go inside,” he says eventually. “You’re going to catch a cold.”

Oikawa shakes his head. 

“I want to stay here, with you.” 

Iwaizumi presses a kiss to his cheek and grabs his hand, pulling him along in the direction of his house, a mirror of how they’ve been their whole lives, Oikawa usually leading him by the hand. 

It’s late, so they dry off and change into Iwaizumi’s clothes, and head to bed. 

Iwaizumi’s parents are used to Oikawa spending the night, so he doesn;t even bother to get up to tell them that he’s here. 

They lay facing each other for a while, until Oikawa pulls him against himself. 

“Goodnight, Hajime,” he says. 

“Goodnight Tooru.”

* * *

The next morning, they wake up tangled in each other, Iwaizumi’s arm swung over Oikawa’s side. 

It’s a familiar position, they’ve slept in the same bed before, but this time the air is different, charged with something new and warm. 

Oikawa wakes first, and he’s never been happier to not be in his own bed. 

Iwaizumi is beautiful when he sleeps and it’s warm in his arms and he smells like home. 

He stares at him in silence until he sneezes loudly and suddenly, startling Iwaizumi awake. 

“Dumbass,” he says. “I told you you were going to catch a cold.” 

“It was worth it,” he says, and presses a kiss to his mouth despite his morning breath.

“It was,” Iwaizumi agrees, and pulls him closer.   
  



	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this as a one shot for one of my friends and decided to tie it into this story so enjoy some fluff

Iwaizumi’s sweeping the floor after dinner while Oikawa puts away their dishes.They eat together almost every day now; it’s been three months since he confessed in the rain and surprisingly not much has changed besides the fact that they’ve graduated and temporarily moved in together They have a small apartment and both Iwaizumi and Oikawa start college classes soon. 

They’ve always loved each other, it’s always been natural, now they just steal kisses when they have a chance and exchange I love you’s when they leave each other. Iwaixumi hates watching him leave but he knows he’s always going to come back. 

They have each other, they always have. 

He hears a small crackle, probably from the aux cord, and suddenly there’s music pouring out from the speakers in the kitchen. It’s sounds like “Electric Feel” by MGMT, but suddenly it stops, and he guesses that Oikawa skipped the song. 

The next song starts, and Iwaizumi stifles a groan. It’s “Dancing Queen” by ABBA. 

Usually he can’t stand that song, but Oikawa’s singing and swaying with the music, he can barely see him from where he’s standing but god he’s gorgeous. 

There’s a look in his eyes that screams “come join me” and Oikawa tilts his head in a come here motion. Iwaizumi leans the broom against the wall and walks over to where he’s dancing, wrapping his arms around him and joining him in swaying to the music. 

They start to dance clumsily in front of the refrigerator, and Oikawa keeps singing. 

“You are the dancing queen, young and sweet only seventeen.” 

His voice is beautiful, high pitched and perfect for the song and his milk chocolate hair is shining under the kitchen lights, matching the sparkle in his eyes. 

Iwaizumi spins him around suddenly, and at the end of it pulls him in closer for a kiss, almost like the day they’d confessed in the rain. 

Oikawa smiles against his lips and throws his arms around Iwaizumi’s neck. Iwaizumi grabs one of his hands to place it on his waist and Oikawa adjusts to the more formal position. They’ve danced like this before, at Oikawa’s sisters wedding when they were young, young enough that no one batted an eye at two boys dancing together, young enough that they didn’t know they were different. 

“Hajime,” Oikawa whispers, like a promise. 

“Tooru,” he whispers back and spins them around again. 

Oikawa goes in for a twirl and almost hits one of the kitchen cabinets, and Iwaizumi has to stifle a laugh. 

“Are you laughing at my pain?” Oikawa says indignantly, and Iwaizumi only laughs harder. 

Oikawa wrinkles his nose. 

“I thought you loved me!”

Iwaizumi pulls him close again and stands on his tiptoes to press a kid to the top of Oikawa’s head. 

“I do, I love you so much.” 

He seals it with a kiss

They just stand there for a while kissing softly. It’s the most time they’ve had to themselves in a while, both of them being busy with volleyball and college and life, and it feels like it’s forever since he’s been able to show Oikawa how much he loves him. 

The song goes to its final chorus and Oikawa breaks the kiss. 

“Twirl me again,” Oikawa demands, and Iwaizumi obliges. 

He turns the twirl into a dip and Oikawa shrieks like a little girl, the shriek turns into a laugh as he comes back up. 

“Let me try you,” he begs. 

“You’re going to make us fall,” Iwaizumi says sternly, but those deep brown eyes stare into his soul and Oikawa knows he can’t resist them, his him confirmed when Iwaizumi finally obliges. 

The dip is okay for the first three seconds but then Oikawa tilts him back too far and Iwaizumi’s weight becomes too much for him to handle. 

They fall to the floor in a tumble, Oikawa laughing and Iwaizumi grunting angrily. Oikawa can tell he’s not really mad though, there’s a smile in his eyes. 

Oikawa’s leaning over him now, hands holding him a few inches above Iwaizumi are braced on either side of the other boy’s head. 

“I told you we’d fall and you didn’t listen. You’re an idiot, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi says fondly, a teasing lilt in his voice. 

Oikawa leans down to close the distance between them, and just before he kisses him he whispers, “I’m your idiot.” 

Something in Iwaizumi melts at the acknowledgement that Oikawa is  _ his,  _ they belong to each other, two halves of the same whole. 

When Oikawa’s arms grow tired of keeping him propped above Iwaizumi, he pulls both of them into a sitting position and climbs into Iwaizumi’s lap.

His arms wind around Iwaizumi’s neck again and they go in for another kiss. 

By now, the song has come to a stop but they still sway in time to an invisible beat. They’re happy, happier than they’ve been in a long time, and even more so now that they’ve tumbled to the floor; Iwaizumi’s really not mad at him, the gentle banter and bickering a steady part of their relationship. 

They fall asleep there, leaned against the refrigerator, tired after a long day of volleyball practice; it’s uncomfortable but Iwaizumi makes a good pillow. 

In the morning, Oikawa wakes to Iwaizumi stroking his hair and he’s never been more happy to wake up on the floor. 


End file.
